04 Aug ‘Apno Thiyo’: A Space of Her Own
Picture this: a group of friends huddled on a street corner, sipping steaming cups of chai, exchanging stories, laughter echoing through the air. It’s a familiar image in most Indian cities, but who do you see in that picture? More often than not, it’s men.
Why is it so hard to imagine young women taking up space on the streets, chatting loudly, laughing freely, or discussing politics over tea? Why don’t we see women in our cities simply loitering, being present, being loud, being themselves?
It was with this question that “Apno Thiyo”, meaning “a space of our own” in the local dialect, was born. A group of five young women from Ajmer, youth leaders of the Cities for Youth program, came together to explore what it means for women to express themselves, especially in public spaces in the city. Monika, Shubhangini, Pooja, Tanu, and Manju envisioned creating a space where women could express themselves openly and without fear, emotionally, physically, and socially.
Their journey began by looking inward. The group explored the importance of connecting with one’s own emotions — of recognising, naming, and giving voice to feelings that often remain unspoken. In group sessions, they shared their stories and stitched them, quite literally, into a symbolic quilt. Each part in this “chadar” carried a letter and a piece of their inner world: fears, hopes, limitations, and dreams.
Their self- expressions echoed a deeper reality. Women’s relationship with public space is shaped by absence, fear, and restriction. As Why Loiter? by Shilpa Phadke, Sameera Khan and Shilpa Ranade argues, women are taught to pass through public spaces, not to inhabit them. To keep their eyes down. To not linger. To never loiter. So, when we fail to see women lounging at chai stalls, laughing loudly, or claiming corners of the city, it’s not an accident. It’s by design.
Apno Thiyo challenged this design. The young women decided to set up pop-up chai corners in communities across Ajmer, not just to serve tea, but to create a safe, open, and public space for women to gather, chat, and be visible. In marginalised neighbourhoods where women are often confined to the domestic, they initiated something radical — a casual conversation in a shared space.
Many women came. Some laughed freely, others cautiously shared why such spaces remain out of reach.
“If someone sees me at a chai stall, they’ll say, look at her, standing by the roadside. What will they think of my family?”
“Chai stalls are always crowded with men. If unknown men are around, we don’t go. They stare and they pass comments.”
“I wish there was a stall where only women came. We could chat, laugh, and drink tea without worry.”
Through these interactions, the young leaders realised just how deeply women’s desires and identities are buried under layers of social roles, someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s daughter-in-law. In many households, women’s names are forgotten, let alone their dreams.
They also engaged men in the conversation. While some echoed patriarchal norms, “Women shouldn’t be out too much”, others voiced their support. “More women should step out,
learn, and grow,” said one elderly man. His words offered a glimpse of change, an acknowledgment that women’s participation in public life is not just about freedom, but about building confidence, independence, and a better future.
Projects like Apno Thiyo are not just about claiming physical space, they’re about reclaiming identity, voice, and presence. They are about saying, we are here too. In cities that often overlook young women, Apno Thiyo offers a small but powerful beginning: a seat at the chai stall, a moment to be seen, and a space of one’s own.
Apno Thiyo is part of the youth-led initiatives under the Cities for Youth program in Rajasthan, supported by the Botnar Foundation and led by Safetipin in collaboration with Mahila Jan Adhikar Samiti (MJAS) in Ajmer. For more updates, follow the Cities for Youth Website.
